The Phantom’s Lair: Darker Than Night
Behind the mirror lies the truth.
Black walls surround you as you descend down the creaky steps. A strange odor fills the lair with an unpleasant scent that hurts your noses feelings. The scent doesn’t smell bad–but also not good. Your only friends are cobwebs filled with eight-legged critters. Their poison leaks out of their mouths without any pity. If you are lucky you will make it to the end of the broken staircase.
Leaving the staircase you encounter a lake. Though it’s not a normal lake…..the water is red. No one knows why, but many have their disturbing guesses. A wooden canoe with a paddle lies at the edge of the “red water” waiting for you. That’s a dare no one is willing to take, but some brave ones will encounter the rest of the journey.
When you arrive at the other end there’s a gray throne, but appears black from all the dirt that has settled on it. The air seems thicker and more cold, like a blanket that gives you discomfort. What else is there you ask? There’s really nothing, except a grand piano. A grand piano which is used by the dark phantom. You will most likely see the phantom at this part of his lair. Not the dreadful lake or the wicked stairs–but his isolated room.
The Phantoms lair isn’t on anyone’s bucket list. In fact it’s last not any list.
Photo Credit: *** Fanch The System !!! *** via Compfight
The hook really grabs you. It immediately sets the mood, a mysterious kind of thing. Great punctuation use! “What else is there you might ask?” Great interaction with the reader. Also when you say “red water” as if you are automatically suggesting it’s… something else is really good. That said, I think the last two sentences don’t exactly fit with the rest. You are totally serious, shady, and mysterious while describing this sketchy place but “The Phantoms lair isn’t on anyone’s bucket list. In fact it’s last not any list” just doesn’t fit. Also, I didn’t’ exactly understand the sentence,” In fact it’s last not any list.” Overall though, great job!